Issue #194 - Pettigrew Leaves Quidditch
August 26, 2018 – 2:31 PM
August 26, 2018 – 2:31 PM
Who Wore It Best? Despite the relative lack of society events, our reporters this week were able to spot a few women out and about town, and we noticed that a trend seems to be starting for white hats! While hardly a new fashion, white tends to be seen mostly on sunny summer days and at more exotic locations such as the Sandition Resort or the Mediterranean, and less so for a casual stroll to do some shopping. Mrs. Emma Macmillan Mrs. Emma Macmillan was seen sporting a woven white hat with a very elaborate design on the brim and top, with a wide white ribbon around the headband. The ribbon ended in a small, flat bow offset slightly from the front of the hat, which left ribbon trails for a few inches towards the brim. She paired the hat with a similarly light-toned dress of mauve, with white lace accents.Mrs. Phoebe Yaxley Mrs. Yaxley's hat, while similar in color, had a much wider brim, extending nearly a foot out from her head. To prevent its blocking her vision she had bent one edge of the brim up slightly, which gave the hat a somewhat lopsided look. She used a narrow, dark ribbon at the headband to offset the otherwise plain design of the hat. She daringly paired it with an off-the-shoulder dress in a darker shade, a rarity for a day gown at any time of year.In this case, Mrs. Macmillan's hat was by far the superior one; the elegant weaving made the white seem an appropriate accessory to the lace accents on her dress, while Mrs. Yaxley's hat was more appropriate for a day at the beach and seemed out of place on the city streets, as though she were a tourist in her own town. The relative darkness of her dress only made the white hat stand out all the more, which gave the entire ensemble a rather garish look. |
August 26, 2018 – 2:31 PM
Quiz: Which Bird Hat Should You Wear To Wow The Crowd? Fashion can be controversial at times, and this is no less true for the infamous bird hats—hats that used taxidermied birds for ornamental display. They’re certainly a risky choice in any crowd, but certainly one that can make an impact and bring attention to yourself! What house were you sorted into? A) Gryffindor B) Hufflepuff C) Slytherin D) Ravenclaw Do you consider yourself a strong woman? A) Yes! If need be, I could carry my elder brother! B) Not at all—even carrying an infant for a minute or two leaves me fatigued! C) I can be strong if I need to, but will not use my strength without good reason. D) No, there is no logical reason a woman should need to be! Do you enjoy being the center of attention? A) Yes! I’ve never shied away from attention. All publicity is good publicity. B) Not at all, but I do enjoy a few passing compliments. C) Yes, but only if I’m receiving praise. D) To bring attention to oneself—especially in frivolous displays—is almost sinful. What colors do you frequently find yourself wearing? A) Bold, bright colors—reds, yellows, oranges. B) Softer and pastel hues. C) Darker shades—navy, plum, emeralds, greys. D) Whatever best compliments my outfit. Would you consider yourself conservative in your style? A) Definitely not! No good trendsetter follows traditions. B) Yes. I don’t like exposing myself to ridicule in the name of fashion. C) Yes, but I’ve been known to latch onto certain trends. D) No, but for the sake of individualism rather than fashion! Mostly As An owl! Though often considered sacred in the magical community, few could look down on a woman wishing to honor her favorite pet who reached their demise too soon! For added attention, cast a charm to make the bird blink! Mostly Bs A nightingale! These birds are small enough to arrange in positions that tell stories—and more importantly, for your purposes, small enough not to be immediately noticed when you walk into the room! Mostly Cs A peacock! While you may not be able to mount the entire bird atop your hat, do consider using its decapitated head (and perhaps shrunken, too!) to add a little flair to your outfit. With a few added peacock feathers, you’re sure to wow the crowd! Mostly Ds A crow! Unless you decide to wear a drab, brown dress to the next function, there is very little black does not go with. For added effect, place a charm upon it that allows it to stare at dance (and perhaps conversation) partners with ill intentions! |
August 26, 2018 – 2:32 PM
Pettigrew Leaves Quidditch! Followers of the Hogsmeade Howlers may have noted that Mrs. Desdemona Pettigrew failed to appear in her usual role as Chaser when the season started back up after the fog. While single player substitutes are far from uncommon, Howlers sponsor Mitch Quiddel has confirmed that the replacement of Mrs. Pettigrew is a permanent one — though he failed to mention why. What could have induced a woman who refused to make her unnatural energies secondary even to her role as a wife to give up her career now? While there has long been speculation that her career as a Chaser could last no longer than her husband's patience for allowing her to continue working, in this instance we feel it unlikely that Arthur Pettigrew had much, if anything, to do with the decision. He has not recently shown himself to be in possession of much more sense or spine than at any other point in his adult life, nor has he voiced any public opinion in regards to his wife's Quidditch career at all this season. If this were something her husband had finally put his foot down on, too, it seems strange that the change would occur in the middle of the season, when the substitution must necessarily make things harder for the team he captains than an off-season shuffle would have done. The far more likely answer is that Mrs. Pettigrew was dispatched by either the team coach or sponsor, as a matter of necessity. Both had tolerated her role on the team up until this point, but it is well-known that mixed-gender Quidditch teams are more difficult to manage, due to the distraction and influence the presence of a woman creates for the men. Since the Howlers have tolerated Mrs. Pettigrew's participation up until this point, it stands to reason that there must be some recent event which has gone further to disrupt the team dynamic than her past behavior, and we at Witch Weekly believe we have uncovered the truth. Mrs. Desdemona Pettigrew met her husband when they played on the same Quidditch team, and has worked beneath him on that team ever since.
A woman with such unnatural appetites and energies as Mrs. Pettigrew — a woman who could not be satisfied by being a wife, but needed to also have an athletic and violent career — must necessarily have been quite frustrated by the cancellation of the Quidditch season due to the fog, and with nowhere to expend her excess energy, it seems entirely likely that she got herself into some mischief. Since she met and wooed her husband over Quidditch, it seems natural for her to turn her attentions next towards one of her other teammates during the frustrating month of July. The only question remaining to be answered, then, is exactly who she offered herself up to. The most dashing candidate, Mr. Tybalt Kirke, is unfortunately out of the running as he had signed on to the expedition taking place in Irvingly for the entirety of the month, as did young Mr. Declan Wood. The transportation limitations created by the fog likewise narrow things down, as she would not have had physical access to any players not living in Hogsmeade (otherwise we might have suggested Mr. Mundungus MacFusty, a young and virulent rising Quidditch star from a rather disreputable family, might have been entirely her type, given who she decided to marry). Through the process of elimination, we have deduced that the most likely candidate for this mid-season affair is none other than Handsome Whitledge. With a reputation of his own for his poor decision making and philandering since his Hogwarts graduation, it can easily be assumed that Whitledge would put up no objection to such an affair — and his position of wealth compared to the often financially-embarrassed Pettigrews may have held some allure for Mrs. Pettigrew which would make his youth and inexperience an easier pill to swallow. Whatever Mr. Pettigrew's feelings on the matter — even as an alleged adulteress, Desdemona Pettigrew may be a good deal more than he deserves in a wife — the team dynamic was clearly disrupted by whatever occurred between Mr. Whitledge and Mrs. Pettigrew during the fog season. The fact that a second-string player had such unfettered access to the Captain's wife would have proven untenable, resulting in Mrs. Pettigrew's unexpected mid-season departure. |
August 26, 2018 – 2:32 PM
Heard Around Town Mr. Edric Umbridge and Miss February Lynch were spotted at the Summer Solstice Festival, actually chaperoned this time! Do you think that Mr. Umbridge is going to try to court her? There was a bit of an incident in Fortescue's Ice Cream Shoppe last week! Apparently spells went flying, and while Miss Holly Scrimgeour and Miss Síl Maelefithrig were in attendance, both were left unharmed. Probably. I heard that Mr. Tilcott, chaser for Puddlemere United, has not been entirely right in the head since he was turned into a cat on the expedition. I suppose only time will tell whether or not he will still be able to play Quidditch adequately. Apparently Miss Adelia Lovegood has not given up entirely! I heard that she will be attending the Aphrodite Ball. What do you think her reaction will be when Miss Valentine tells her that she should have just married the former Minister when she had the chance? Miss Scrimgeour is now working for Mr. Malcolm MacFusty in the Hebrides. I suppose that family never did care much for reputation, but still... I heard there's a new London resident with a fortune in diamonds - he would be a good catch for any debutante who could be so lucky! Mr. Tiberius Lestrange hasn't been seen at all this summer, and I've heard he no longer works for the Department of Mysteries! Do you suppose he's having a bit of a crisis? |
August 26, 2018 – 2:33 PM
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