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Fern-hunting parties became popular, allowing young women to get outside in a seemingly innocuous pursuit with less rigid oversight and chaperoning than they saw in parlors and drawing rooms. They may have even had the occasional romantic meetup with a similarly fern-impassioned beau. — Bree

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"The Prodigal Sister" for Ophelia Devine. Faked deaths, scandal, and schemes!
Now that he had walked up to them, he couldn't exactly whirl around and get going. That would be rude. And was not, presumably, how straight men seduced their future wives.

Cassius Lestrange in Eyes on the Screen

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The Dozen

Complete a twelve-post thread in which each post has exactly twelve words. At least three posts must be your own.


Students are the Worst
23rd May, 1888 - Headmaster's Office
"Woopy think it silly, sir." The house elf shrugged, waving his hand dismissively; causing the headmasters drink to refill, "Why they allowed in kitchen? It distracting and annoying!" He huffed, turning back toward Phineas Black from the bookshelves.

The House Elf enjoyed coming to the headmasters office. It was often quiet, tidy, and most importantly student-free (which one could argue made this perhaps one of the best places in the entirety of Hogwarts). Whilst it was true Woopy often felt he didn't deserve to be in the grandeur of the headmasters office, tidying it and the castle as a whole were a part of his job and any time he had wherein he could complain about all he needed without judgement (usually; if the Headmaster wasn't there) was most assuredly welcome

"One came in and tried to steal food yesterday! And Bopsy let them!" Woopy almost hissed, his arms flailing angrily around as if he was trying to swat a swarm of invisible house flies.

Woopy moved over toward a large ornament-looking object, not entirely sure what it was, and snapped his fingers. Almost immediately a sponge and water bucket appeared at the house elf's feet.

"And what is this, Mr Black sir? It a weird looking statue!" The house elf started rambling as he began wiping the object down.
Nobody was allowed in his office.

Phineas preferred it this way.

House elves however, had their own agenda and this one seemed to enjoy making his presence known while he was cleaning the office while Phineas tried to work. It was annoying to say the least. He would simply banish it from his presence, if it didn't do such a good job keeping things the way Phineas liked them; dust free and impeccably organized.

Making a noncommittal noise in answer to whatever it had said last, something about students in the kitchen, Phineas barely looked up. Students shouldn't be in the kitchen, but changing the way into the kitchens itself was too much work for him to be bothered; if they got hurt in there that was their problem. Normally, unlike this elf, the others seemed not to be bothered with it- so far as Phineas knew anyway, he didn't make it a habit to stop and chat with them.

It asked another question and against his better judgement, Phineas looked up from the Coming Out preparations to see what it was rambling on about. "It's cursed, I wouldn't touch it."

“Toujours Pur.”

deep quote code by Soph ♥
Cursed? Cursed!? What kind of idiotic, reckless and senseless person puts a cursed ornament in their office for anyone – any house elf – to stumble upon? Woopy recoiled with wide eyes and turned to the headmaster.

He wasn’t entirely sure if the headmaster was joking around but given the elf’s past experiences with Mr. Black, it would have been rather accurate to assume that no, Mr. Phineas Black was not joking and yes, he was indeed in possession of a cursed statue. The house elf thought it best not to ask exactly why he had a statue.

Thinking something was best, however, was not the same as not doing the thing and so Woopy, as ever inquisitive as he always was, put the sponge down and hobbled over to the headmasters desk with furrowed brows, “Cursed?!”  Woopy exclaimed, his ears just about poking above the desk.

He moved alongside the desk and looked up to the headmaster, “Why you got a cursed statue in here, sir!?”

Baffled, confused, and rather concerned, Woopy began his adventure back toward the statue as the headmaster spoke and once there, his head lulled to the left as he observed it. The temptation to touch it, having been told explicitly that he probably shouldn’t touch it, was slowly starting to get the better of him; he was metaphorically twitching with anticipation.

“What kind of curse?” Woopy enquired as he examined it further.

Why was he having a conversation with a house elf again?

Phineas sighed and cast a slow, annoyed look towards the elf. "I don't know exactly what kind of curse," Honestly there were a lot of questionable objects in his family and none need really be explained to him. "And I keep them to prevent students- or elves, from messing around in my office." Not that any student could get in there without an invitation. Sometimes he wished it was that way for the house elves.

Returning his eyes to his work, Phineas signed the last paper and stacked them neatly, tucking them on the side of his desk before moving onto the next order of business. "Are you going to stand there and stare at it or finish you work?" He drawled without bothering to look at the elf this time.

“Toujours Pur.”

deep quote code by Soph ♥
"Woopy think you could just tell them not to mess around, sir." Woopy shrugged and turned to the rather annoyed looking headmaster.

Woopy never really quite understood why Mr. Black had become the school headmaster - he seemed to hate children so why he had elected to run a school full of them, the house elf would never know.

At the headmasters next question, Woopy picked up a wet sponge and using the levitation charm, began cleaning the statue (albeit extremely carefully), "Of course Woopy clean, sir. It the reason your office so tidy, sir."

Woopy nodded confidently and moved over to the bookshelf this time. He unsummoned his sponge and bucket and perused the books. They all looked like gibberish. Important, but still gibberish.

The House Elf then snapped his fingers and every book on the shelf moved into a neat pile on the floor, allowing the elf to dust the wood, and he started murmuring to himself.

"And Woopy not ever understand why these books are here and not in library. Or even why they in library! Put them in big room away from everyone and just summon! That neater but Woopy just silly and not know anything! Haha!" Woopy continued talking to himself merrily with a bit of a chuckle, "Woopy doesn't even see what these scribbles are! Strange wizard language."
The more the elf talked the more Phineas wanted a drink. He pressed his fingers to his temples and sighed, hardly listening to what the elf was rambling on about. There were lots of questions and assumptions that Phineas didn't have the patience nor the desire to deal with directly so he nodded along every once in a while but other than that, wasn't giving it much attention.

"These are my books, not for the students, nor the staff for that matter." He said with another sigh. Why he had bothered to explain himself to the elf he had no idea, but perhaps if he answered the questions the creature would leave quicker.

He flinched as he heard the books hit the floor. "Be careful with those." He barked, brows furrowed in annoyance. "There's a reason students are not allowed to touch them." Some of them were ancient, passed down in his family and others he just damn well thought they needn't be tossed around.

“Toujours Pur.”

deep quote code by Soph ♥

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