This is more of a "you should know" rather than "did you know" but I couldn't find an appropriate place >.>

I was scrolling around through a book catalog and came across Perfect Behavior by Donald Ogden Stewart from the 1920s(?), and I realized pretty quickly that it's a satirical etiquette handbook. I just wanted to share a number of quotes that I thought were HILARIOUS and thought y'all might enjoy:

Quote:Some of the commoner flowers and their meaning in courtship are as follows:

Fringed Gentian—"I am going out to get a shave. Back at 3:30."
Poppy—"I would be proud to be the father of your children."
Golden-rod—"I hear that you have hay-fever."
Tuberose—"Meet me Saturday at the Fourteenth Street subway station."
Blood-root—"Aunt Kitty murdered Uncle Fred Thursday."
Dutchman's Breeches—"That case of Holland gin and Old Tailor has arrived. Come on over."
Iris—"Could you learn to love an optician?"
Aster—"Who was that stout Jewish-looking party I saw you with in the hotel lobby Friday?"
Deadly Nightshade—"Pull down those blinds, quick!"
Passion Flower—"Phone Main 1249—ask for Eddie."
Raspberry—"I am announcing my engagement to Charlie O'Keefe Tuesday."
Wild Thyme—"I have seats for the Hippodrome Saturday afternoon."

The above flowers can also be combined to make different meanings, as, for example, a bouquet composed of three tuberoses and some Virginia creeper generally signifies the following, "The reason I didn't call for you yesterday was that I had three inner tube punctures, besides a lot of engine trouble in that old car I bought in Virginia last year. Gosh, I'm sorry!"

Quote:AS soon as the engagement has been announced it is the duty of the prospective bride to select a maid-of-honor and eight or ten bridesmaids, while the groom must choose his best man and ushers. In making these selections it should be carefully borne in mind that no wedding party is complete without the following:

1 bridesmaid who danced twice with the Prince of Wales.
2 Bridesmaids who never danced more than once with anybody.
1 bridesmaid who doesn't "Pet."
1 bridesmaid who was expelled from Miss Spence's.
1 bridesmaid who talks "Southern."
1 bridesmaid who met Douglas Fairbanks once.
1 bridesmaid who rowed on the crew at Wellesley.
1 usher who doesn't drink anything.
9 ushers who drink anything.

On pedestrian etiquette while traveling:

Quote:A bachelor, accompanied by a young unmarried woman, when stepping accidentally into an open coal or sewer hole in the sidewalk, removes his hat and gloves as inconspicuously as possible.

It is never correct for young people of either "sex" to push older ladies in front of swiftly approaching motor vehicles or street cars.

A young man, if run over by an automobile driven by a strange lady, should lie perfectly still (unless dead) until an introduction can be arranged; the person driving the car usually speaks first.

An unmarried woman, if run into and knocked down by a taxicab driven by someone in her own "set," usually says "Why the hell don't you look where you're going?" to which the taxi driver, removing his hat, replies "Why the hell don't YOU?"

Quote:"Drinking" has, of course, always been a popular sport among the members of the better classes of society, but never has the enthusiasm for this pastime been so great in America as since the advent of "prohibition." Gentlemen and ladies who never before cared much for "drinking" have now given up almost all other amusements in favor of this fascinating sport; young men and debutantes have become, in the last few years, fully as expert in the game as their parents. In many cities "drinking" has become more popular than "bridge" or dancing and it is predicted that, with a few more years of "prohibition," "drinking" will supersede golf and baseball as the great American pastime.

Quote:Eating is an extremely old custom and has been practiced by the better classes of society almost without interruption from earliest times.