Issue #187 - The Fog: A Ministry Sanctioned Disaster?
July 8, 2018 – 2:55 AM
The Original Fake News
July 8, 2018 – 2:56 AM
The Original Fake News
 This highly personalized brooch includes braided pieces of hair from many dead loved ones.  Black lockets with elegant pearl or silver designs are absolutely timeless and fit any occasion! | Make The Most of Mourning Tragic as it is, death is a part of life, and thus mourning is a necessary part of fashion. If your loved one is somewhat long in the beard, or ailing, it might be in your interests to acquire some appropriate mourning jewelry, so that you won’t have the burden of shopping in your state of grief and will be able to immediately look your best! Everyone is familiar with the rules associated with tasteful mourning attire, but you can still look quite chic while expressing your sorrow with a locket, personalized with a picture or lock of hair from a loved one, or with memento-jewelry made from locks of the deceased's’ hair. You can also express your feeling through sentimental jewelry in silver, onyx, or jet. For example, a daughter mourning the passing of her father, who loved music, might wear earrings shaped as harps. While one must avoid the look of whimsy, tasteful reminders of the deceased can be appropriate and quite elegant. Every socialite worth her petticoat should have a fine collection of amethyst jewelry for the period of half-mourning. These pieces add such much needed color to your look, and because they do not make an entrance until a respectable period of time has passed they can be much less personal while still remaining tasteful. Every woman should have a few pieces of fine, flattering amethyst in her collection--you never know when tragedy will hit and you must be prepared! |  An elegant onyx ring with a small bit of encased hair.  As soon as respectable, switch to amethyst jewelry to add a little color to your wardrobe!  A beautiful amethyst brooch with pearl accents, ideal for a woman in the latter half of a mourning period. |
July 8, 2018 – 2:56 AM
The Original Fake News
| Quiz: Can We Predict Your Fog Horror Story? | |
|
Despite reassurances that the Ministry is handling the situation, Hogsmeade and the surrounding areas have been pelted—quite literally!—with oddities under the effects of the fog! We've seen unnatural darkness, toads, and now locusts, which has left many residents: what will be next? And more importantly: will it be something they can handle? Today, Witch Weekly is here to help you figure out exactly what you'd hate to see appear in Hogsmeade (for the purpose of helping you stay indoors, of course!). 1. How would you least like to perish? A) Plague B) Drowning C) Famine D) From a lonely heart* 2. What do you value the most? A) Nature B) Safety C) Wealth D) Family 3. Which do you fear the most? A) Death B) Isolation C) Being without life's necessities D) Insanity 4. Where are your loved ones? A) All dead! The last Hogsmeade disaster killed them! B) All inside Hogsmeade. And I'm not with them! C) Some are with me, while others are outside! B) All inside Hogsmeade. At least we're here together? |
Mostly As Your fog nightmare would be waking up to the streets full of inferi! Even worse—ones that are trying to get inside your home! You best lock your doors before you head to bed. Mostly Bs Your fog nightmare would be floods! While a weekend in Venice might sound nice, having Hogsmeade come to resemble it overnight does not! Even worse—the water begins seeping indoors, trapping you inside! Mostly Cs Your fog nightmare would be a charm that sees all food and water disappear! You and your family will be left to starve at the complete mercy of an already-inept Ministry! Even worse—being resort to cannibalism, much as J. Alfred Darrow and Pablo Medina were rumored to have resorted to while living with savages! Mostly Ds Your fog nightmare would be waking up to see your loved ones replaced by identical (but completely fake!) copies of themselves. There's nothing like having to wonder which member of your family is real and which is a fraud. Even worse—they try to replace you with a fraud while you sleep! * See last week's issue to find that special someone! No one should have to perish in the fog without a loved one to mourn over them! |
July 8, 2018 – 2:56 AM
The Original Fake News
| The Fog: A Ministry Sanctioned Disaster? As the fog continues to terrorize residents of Irvingly and Hogsmeade, the Ministry has done all it can to protect its citizens and figure out how to dispel it. At least that's what Minister Ross and the Ministry higher-ups want you to think! Does anyone truly believe the British Ministry of Magic is completely impotent in the face of a little magical fog? Of course not! There are three possible explanations for the Ministry's negligence. The first is indolence. While the Minister and many others may have homes in Hogsmeade and Irvingly, you can imagine the majority fled as soon as the going was good. Now they remain in the safe confines of London and wherever else they may have a second home and have the luxury of sitting around the Ministry postulating about the fog in the most leisurely manner. What urgency could they possibly feel while they have use of their wands? The second possibility is a cover up. How many times has the Department of Mysteries caused widespread chaos and destruction? Only a couple years ago they near blew up the Ministry! What possible purpose do they serve? Conveniently no one is allowed to know what it is that the Unspeakables get up to — what sort of immoral experimentation or torture goes on in the Department of Mysteries? Likely the sort that would unleash a magic-sapping fog! While we know little of Unspeakables, it is hard to deny that they are an irresponsible lot safeguarded by secrecy and the Minister. Fearing public rebellion and demands that the department be shut down, Minster Ross is likely in the process of enacting a disgraceful cover-up to save face after numerous blunders. Why is Minister Ross so determined to shield the Unspeakables? We suspect that the Unspeakables may hold the true power in the Ministry, keeping the incumbent Minister under the thumb of the Department of Mysteries. Perhaps the recent loss of Lestrange leadership in the Department is a contributing factor to how this disaster has gotten so out of hand. We tried to reach the Assistant Head of the Department of Mysteries, Ernest Mulciber, for comment but found his Wellingtonshire home deserted and believe the family have taken up at the Sanditon for a vacation. How terribly convenient. Finally, corruption of a far more disturbing variety. Minister Ross' campaign was very successful, another liberally-inclined candidate befitting the trend since former Minister Faris Spavin's departure. We suspect that Minister Ross is not what he seemed throughout his campaign. In reality he is power driven and determined to establish an authoritarian regime over wizardkind — or at least something equally heinous. By ordering the Department of Mysteries to unleash a fog that suppresses magic, he is able to keep the population crippled and incapable of rebellion. It's likely that Hogsmeade and Irvingly are only the tip of the iceberg, a test before it is unleashed upon the whole country while Minister Ross and his conspirators remain unaffected by it, knowing of course what it is and how to safeguard themselves against it. If it wasn't clear before, it is after the Ministry's questionable decision to send in unqualified civilians to investigate the fog, rather than the highly skilled wizards in their employ. If our safety truly rests upon the shoulders of such poorly qualified individuals then it would seem we are all doomed. |
 Minister Ross: a man ruled by ambition and delusions of grandeur? Ernest Mulciber left Hogsmeade with suspicious haste. What really goes on in the Department of Mysteries? |
July 8, 2018 – 2:57 AM
The Original Fake News
| Unfogging Your Future: July Horoscopes | ||
|
|
| |
July 8, 2018 – 2:57 AM
The Original Fake News
View a Printable Version
Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)
Charmingrp.com was designed with ❤ by Shanté and coded by Olive
Powered By MyBB, © 2002-2024 MyBB Group.
Powered By MyBB, © 2002-2024 MyBB Group.